Unfriendly Friend.

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying! – The Shawshank
Redemption

Years ago I welcomed an invisible guest; there were lot of
changes in my life after that creature came in. I do not know how to describe it
as it did not have any features. I started living my life with it, in and out.  It would tickle me, I would cry; It would
feed me, I would be hungrier; It would dance with me, I would lose balance. The
more I cry, lose appetite and lose balance the features of that creature became
clearer, I started seeing it being happier and healthier than me. I was always
surrounded by negative thoughts; this went on for few months. Around the same
time, I had lost all the precious people around me, some left me because they
didn’t have a choice and some left me because their priorities changed. I
needed someone to be around me to comfort me and it comfort me so well that
crying became a habit, not eating food became a routine and dancing was more
tiring.

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I reached a phase where I couldn’t live without it; it took
me few months to realize that I had started to hate myself, I was pushing
myself towards a black hole. I did realize it was time for me to get rid of it,
If not I knew it would eat me up slowly but how! It was so close and was there
with me when there was no one or did it come because I thought there was no one
with me and forced myself to stay with it. It is just a never ending story if
you keep finding ways wondering why you got into a problem; if you keep
worrying about a problem you will never find a solution.

I started looking for solutions, I found many but nothing
was so strong that I could use to get rid of it. It was high time to start
facing it directly; I faced it and smiled, started eating with it and danced
along. The more I smiled and started hanging out with it, it seemed to
disappear slowly. It seems, once in a while right in the middle of nowhere,
Love gives us a fairy tale. I saw someone who shed light in the black hole that
I was in and showed me a way towards happiness. I realized that I have
forgotten to smile, I have forgotten to eat which I always loved and I have
forgotten to dance when I wanted to be a dancer always.

image

It still keeps visiting me once in a while, I do cry, lose
appetite sometimes but it is not a routine anymore, I have only grown stronger.
If it wouldn’t have come to my life, maybe I wouldn’t be this stronger. Well I
forgot to introduce you all to it, it is “Depression”! If you cannot see it, I
pray that you never should. If you can see it, its time you wake up and smile
over it. Everybody goes through this phase in their life at least once or many a
times. It is very difficult to realize what’s happening, it does take some time
but, only You will be able to
understand what is happening and find a solution.

As per WHO, globally more than 350 million people die of
depression. There can be many reasons for depression and sometimes there might
not be any reason too. It might be this scary or might not be too, If at all
you feel any changes in your behavior or habits, please start realizing that
it shouldn’t affect you. Remember there is always a solution to the problem;
creating problem to your own self may not be a solution to the problem. There
are times where I have just lied down on bed for days, staring at the ceiling
fan and wondering why does this happen only to me but I did realize it happens
to everyone. You just should know when to wake up and switch on the fan, get
some air and breathe!

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People give ideas to divert mind, go on a solo trip, make
new friends, start flirting, start dating, start a new hobby and so on. Well
it’s just easy to give ideas than experience it, because this creature will not
leave you wherever you go, it will haunt you if you don’t get rid of it by
yourself. You just got to find that someone, that someone can be a person, a
thing, an animal, a fantasy, a dream or a doctor too who can help you get rid
of it. It is just there, you just need to find it. My mom use to always tell,
you can win anything/anyone over a smile. Hatred is not an answer for Hatred,
smile it away. If any of you know anyone who is suffering from depression, if
you do not know how to handle it please have them talk to me.

Dress: Show Off, On Neck: Hair Band, Ear Ring: A gift.

Blooming…

WildFlower

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